


Haunted By My Past

by cazmalfoy



Category: CSI: NY
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6625810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazmalfoy/pseuds/cazmalfoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you for once just to hear me out. So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunted By My Past

He couldn’t take it. Every where he turned in the building he could feel everyone’s eyes on him. When he stepped out of the lab; every step he took, anxiously watched by dozens of onlookers. The elevator was packed full of people. He could have easily fit in, he wasn’t that big a person. But he knew that the silence in the elevator would become unbearable before he could reach his destination. Instead of sliding in between the bodies he let it pass, telling himself that the next one wouldn’t be as full.  
  
He had messed up, not telling Mac about Tanglewood was probably the biggest mistake of his life. He knew, Mac knew it and, somehow, everyone else in the lab knew it. It didn’t matter that he had never completed his initiation into the gang. The only thing that mattered was that he had wanted to be a part of them. Sure, when he had grown up and grew a brain, he had realised it was a stupid thing to want. But at the time it had seemed like a good idea and he knew that was all Mac would be able to see.  
  
He had spent his entire career with the NYPD trying to make up for his almost-mistake. Every scene he processed, every piece of evidence he touched, everything was to prove to his former Marine boss that hiring him wasn’t a mistake. He had been trying to so hard to prove himself that he hadn’t realised he had feelings towards Mac. Feelings that were by no means returned, he just knew it. There was no way that someone as straight laced as Mac would want to be with someone as fucked up as him.  
  
“Danny,” Mac greeted quietly as he arrived at the older man’s office. “How’s the case going?” Mac asked, trying to sound casual.  
  
He knew that everything was a façade. Mac knew about his past now. The past he had tried so hard to bury and separate himself from. The very past that had come back to haunt him when he least expected it.  
  
“Fine,” he replied duly. He wanted to ask if they were okay. He knew what Mac thought of him, could see it in his eyes. “You want to grab a beer?” he managed to ask. He knew that Mac would say no, telling him that there was still cases that needed to be solved.  
  
“Not tonight,” Mac sighed with a shake of his head. “I have some things I need to think about. I’ll talk to you in the morning.” With that Mac turned his back on him, continuing typing at the computer.  
  
He sighed silently, lowering his head as he turned to leave the room. Tossing a look back over his shoulder, he knew that it would take a long time for things to be okay between him and Mac. He just hoped that things would work out. But he doubted they would. Nothing ever seemed to go right for him.  
  
 _Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make_  
sense  
I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt  
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear  
me out  
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do  
Face away and pretend that I'm not  
\- Faint, Linkin Park


End file.
